absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Everyone knows that the fastest route to a corporate advancement is to take a shot in the mouth
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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