you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
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