Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
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