Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
We left the knife in your bed.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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