i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
