Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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