when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I want to stick my p in your. b.
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
