I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was telling Jamie that she was too fat even for my standards. The first thing I remember after blacking out was waking up next to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
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