My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
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Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
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