hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
She announced her abortion via fbk
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I just forgot I was standing up.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Randomize
