What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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