My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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