I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
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