turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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