Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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