meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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