for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Wait, I'm confused. I EMPTIED the bottle? as in consumed it? I'm impressed with myself.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
