it's not cheating when I paid for it
two words: eviction party
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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