I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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