Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
He pulled a condom out of his satchel and i questioned my entire life.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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