I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Instead of having sex, we spent the entire night making pillow forts and have sword fights. I think I'm in love
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
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