she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
Drunk walkin through police station. America
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
