Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
