did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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