butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
