how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
there is puke in my bra ... again
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
