I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
