don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
you have to choose: penises or morals?
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
Randomize
