And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
He went all Bachlorette on me.. "I just want to guard and protect your heart" bullshit
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
Randomize