Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
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