How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
Randomize
