I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
The Olympian is in my bed
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Randomize
