If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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