dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
Randomize
