is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
