Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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