I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
Randomize
