Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Why were my jeans in the freezer of the mini fridge, and how long have they been in there? On another note, I found my teacher's ID badge.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize