i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
