I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
