shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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