my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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