i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Send help, water and tortillas.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize
