Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
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