so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
