The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
I'm sorry, but the bed has won this battle. I got up, changed my shirt, combed my hair, put on some deodorant, and then looked at my bed and got back in
Randomize
