i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Sooo, did you delete me cause I said I wouldn't babysit you while you did shrooms? You're a grown man.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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