also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm gonna write a book entitled "when you give a cop a cookie..."
I don't even want to know.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
