did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
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