I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
The instructions say refer to specific course material, but I'm in no mood to reopen this awful book that caused me so many lost hours of drinking.
Yeah FUCK THAT NOISE
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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