I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize
