i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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