Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
