I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Trying to figure out these fractions. I bought 5 fifths of gin last week. Does that mean I have one whole gin? 5/5 = 1, right? You're having to homeschool your kids right now--so ask them.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
