Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
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at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
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hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
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