She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
My girl friends dad just asked how I get so drunk and then he passed out with a bloody Mary in his hand on the couch it's 230 do you know where your parents are
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
