i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
