she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
That fucking fat Asian kid that NOBODY invited is stuck in the dryer again
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
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