I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Randomize
