how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
