the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
