FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
I came home to my brother stoned out of his mind. He got a high score on COD and asked me to have a celebration yogurt with him.
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
And I just want you to know I got myself into this mess. I gotta get myself out. Plus, don't you only need one kidney?
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
