My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
God, I missed his penis.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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