I think scott just propositioned me for sex
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Randomize
